CUBBIE

(They/them)
Carer and writer

20 September 2020
Wurundjeri, Woi Wurrung Country

I’m a carer of colour, I’m a migrant, and I’m also disabled. All this time it’s been quite a struggle
for us – how to balance being a carer [with] being disabled and a person of colour – because the moment we step out, the intersectionality of racism and ableism comes in straight away. In iso 1.0, back in March [2020], there was so much anger towards Asian Australians, so I was very, very nervous about going out. There were no masks back then but we were already masking because we have a child who is immunocompromised.

[In] iso 1.0 we weren’t prepared at all because unlike other households [that] have walk-in pantries [and] big cabinets for cupboards, we can only have enough for a couple of days. We don’t stock. In other words, we’re not preppers, we’re not hoarders. When the pandemic hit and the lockdown happened, we didn’t have any food at all in the fridge. I had to ask a friend to buy food for us. There was also this informal group among disabled and queer artists who helped us and started sending us food and money to buy food. Back then we didn’t know it would be a long lockdown. We [thought], “Okay, we’ll be done by June. We’ll be fine by then.” We prepared the house like we were in a cancer ward. You separate yourself, clean yourself first before entering a room where a child is immunocompromised.

I stopped writing and concentrated on what we call home learning. The difference, when you’re in iso learning, [is that] the parent becomes everything that the school does. You’re an IT specialist, you’re admin because you’re photocopying or scanning work stuff for the child, you’re the teacher’s aide, the teacher, the canteen. The house is the iso canteen and because I’ve got three children, I’m also the lunch lady. At the end of the day I’m the school cleaner. You have to clean every mess they [made] during ‘school hours’ because their other parent, their father, will be arriving from his, what you call, essential work. He’s an essential worker. I had to prepare for his meal as well.

If you read articles about women working extra in a pandemic, it is so true. I end my day at midnight. Work, school, house chores – everything is done by a woman because of the patriarchal structures deeply embedded in society. Unfortunately, my partner comes from a patriarchal background with deeply embedded systems and structures and he does not veer from that.

I consider myself non-binary and I’m very frustrated about the delineation of chores. [If I] deviate from that, what happens is domestic violence. It’s pretty scary. I have backup plans just in case something happens. I have friends who provide me [with] safe places just in case we need to get out of the house. We’ve got plans in place because in a pandemic, things are stressful not just inside the house but in the workforce as well. There is pressure among those who are called essential workers to work extra because of shift work, so that is brought inside the house, and I’m frustrated by the binary social structures. That’s my take on the pandemic. It’s not easy. Women are worse off.