PHOENIX

(She/her)
Council worker and artist

25 January 2021
Wurundjeri, Woi Wurrung Country

My name is Phoenix. I’m from Hong Kong. I moved here in 2002. Last year, I was planning to go to Hong Kong, but I couldn’t, I was stuck. I live by myself; it has been hard. When we started the first lockdown, it was okay. My work had already prepared everyone to work from home, so that was all kind of good. I adjusted quite quickly. I thought it was okay, the first lockdown. But then the second lockdown, my suburb was locked down. I felt like people were judging my area. But then after that, all the surrounding suburbs were in the same kind of scenario as we were. We were all in lockdown together. I tried to adjust, and I tried to feel okay about it, but it was hard. It was quite emotional for me.

For me, my creativity just stopped. It just completely halted. I had no inspiration. I was staying home. I didn’t have any information. There was no visual inspiration that was happening around me. I felt quite bored and I found it really hard to be creative. I was very lucky that a friend told me about this YouTube video where you could practice your art. You could have a model, a life model but through YouTube. And that was really fantastic. I just tried to keep my brain as busy as possible. I didn’t want to feel bored. At the same time, I was also making masks. I had a few colleagues that were saying to me, “Can you actually make us some masks?” And I thought, “Oh, okay, a little bit of extra money on the side.” So I pumped at it, pushed them through and sold them, but I have to say I never want to do it again. I really don’t like making in that repetitious fashion. I’m not into it at all. I think I made over 20 masks in two days.

Lockdown at that time, the technology was great. It was fantastic having that access with Zoom. I think that helped a lot. But I have to say, it’s not like seeing the person in real life. It’s a different experience using Zoom to connect with people. I feel lucky that I have friends [that are] happy to talk with me every day and I can contact my family as well. [However], when having a Zoom meeting Tt can be really tricky with an [Auslan] interpreter on the screen, because you might have a meeting with 20 people and this interpreter is so tiny on [the] screen, it’s so hard to see them. You’ve got everyone, all their profiles, and you’re just looking at this tiny interpreter and you’re trying to see each other. Last week, when I went to a meeting using Zoom, they actually had these built-in captions. It’s not 100% right, I don’t get all the information, but it’s still better than nothing. I do feel this opposition or this contrast using this technology because it feels robotic. It doesn’t feel like I’m really connecting with the people in the space. It’s hard to describe, but it feels different. Technology has improved a lot, but at the same time, I feel like it’s inhibited these connections as well.

I can’t say that everything has been completely positive or negative. I feel like it’s been half-half, just learning to accept the situation that we’re in. You’ve got two choices. You can either complain and do nothing, or you can just decide I’m going to do something. I’m going to take my mind off things. For me personally, I’d just rather focus on the positive. This situation has really forced me to do something, keep myself busy, and I think everyone’s in the same boat. Everyone thought 2020 would be great. Everyone was excited. And then all of a sudden this thing happened that just shocked the world, I guess. I think if there’s one take away you just need to do something that you want to do, and something that you enjoy.

This interview was conducted in Auslan with the assistance of interpreter Sarah F.